I can only conclude that SF house is prob the best meetin place, and its a realli fulfilling outing yest... thankx guys, for all the laughter watching wu zhong xian and scaring soo chin... haha and the stupid house of wax movie is totally gruesome and its like plotless, jux basically blood, anatomies, murderous techniques, killin, violence... YUCKS *bree*

Had a weddin lunch today and was like a huge gathering of relatives and yeah it was fun, but i was a bit disappointed with the organization of the weddin and yeah the make up and dresses, it wasn't up to "standard"? maybe...

Its almost chinese new year le... so its another shoppin spree coming up, gonna get some realli nice apparels and realli give myself a *BAM* during chinese new year, gonna get my hair done and prob do some personel care.

Watched the ren xin ci ai show on TV and i can realli feel some gan dong from the show. I cant stand see pple suffer and all the realli touching scenes of relatives and family sacrificing almost everything to look after their relatives... jux so saddening... and i cant bare but tear for them... bless u all

Thankx all fer ya wishes and rmb my Big dae! yupz, and i would to emphasize on the fact that i am still, oh well heck the paranoia over age matters, wadeva... i breached the "2" region.

haha... closer to my ideal birthday partie... muz attend okie u guys... next yr!

Okie, like wad the rest r doing, i will follow suit. Summary for the year 2005!

Jan - stuck in a little island off coast, praying fervently for each day to pass and yearning for the return to mainland. Its jux the start and i am jux waiting to things to unfold and let nature take its own course.

Feb - STILL stuck in a little island off coast, praying fervently for each day to pass and yearning for the return to mainland. Chinese New Year was a great break for us to replenish our energy, cos the worse was yet to be, i was lucky to be able to survive thru it.

Mar - "A" results are out and my three months of "training" comes to an end, culminating in the first ever parade i have ever participated. Made up my choice of course i wanna take up. Oh yeah not to forget the wonderful pple i met on the island and how that intricate friendship between us were forged.

Apr - Training at a diff. place on mainland, but still is some farny corner of mainland. Learned to operate some interesting vehicles and yeah made more friends and saw even more old friends.

May - Posted to my new, sort of a Perm. unit, had moi first ever exercise like 3 days into the new environment, but it was an excellent experience and i muz say it was quite fun though... hehe, started my "life", meetin up with long-lost peepz and re-establishin contacts... Great to have u guys yeah... Oh yeah got my own ball too.

Jun, Jul, Aug - Nothing realli fantastic, jux work and the usual outings, but i muz comment that outings were awesome and super fun no matter wad, oh ya met the excos too, like wow, after so long. Started reminiscing the past, eagerly wanting to return to sch days where we had realli so much fun while studying. emotional and pissy and PMS-sy ... Oh ya National day @ neighbourhood.. -_-

Sept, Oct - work again, preparation for this exercise that is coming up and gosh its hectic, starting to wonder and get paranoid over the age issue... like Shiacks!.. getting more "brandie" and "spendie", but still TRYin to keep a tab on my finances.

Nov, Dec - Major exercise happening and very busy during the Nov period. On leave period, went KL and Christmas!

Okie... i have accumulated a whole butt of things to blog, so hang in there!

oh yeah, went KL for an intended super shoppin spree. But it was disappointing, since i tot there would be cheaper stuff there for sale on top of the high exchange rate. If u ever visit KL, dun go into those huge metropolitian shopping centre that looked as if it would be expensive to shop inside, cos IT IS expensive to shop inside. HAHA. Nonetheless, i still did some shoppin, jux keepin a tab on how much is being spent yeah.

It was den, me leave period, which was FILLED with activities okie... met my excos after some time to like meet up and catch up. It was extremely fun and we realli chat and talk and discuss abt everything under the sun from the love philsophy to the meaning of life to lots of other stuff... den we had steamboat and most of the pple ganged up on huiyian... poor gurl haha... den there was so much food and stuff that we had to play the improved version of zhong ji mi ma where the one who got the number correct will not be forfeited to eat something from the steam boat, but those two beside the one will have to eat soemthing... haha so yeah it was everyone's game. We had fondue with semi-hardened nutty chocolate and fresh juicy fruits. It was delectable and simply heavenly yes! den played a new game psychiatrist and started our discussion. Took a lot of photos at the end and tried many positions and poses and formations, realli cool and the effects are simply GREAT! missin ya guys alreadi... hope that we realli have another time to meet up yeah. take carez in the mean time.

Visited SC and joyce with SF and aloy at their workplace and i am truely fasinated by the cashier register machine, realli fun to play with haha. After that went SF house for MJ session, and we concluded that SF hse is an awesome place to enjoy... bungalow leh, how can u not enjoy? and all the high tech stuff and many many more... simply an outrageouly huge place to play and chill! went for a mini shoppin and bought some stuff b4 going home.

Was supposed to be on leave on the 22nd, but hafta go back to camp to do some stuff, den after that went to watch KING KONG after going home to pai pai. KING KONG is a little bit draggy but its like it depics a love that transcend thru inter-species relations, even animals without an advance knowledge but armed with primitive emotions and instinct has the ability to give love and reciprocate wads been taken. Its jux that pure, and it is jux that realm of fantasy where perfectionism sets in and nuthin is being injected with "socio-ism", which starts to affect pple and that is where pornograhy evolves from and rapist and all the cons of the society emerges. Watching KING KONG makes me realise how much the world is containing within its boundaries.

Christmas!!! a season to give and take recieved some cards and pressie... THANKX to all, yupz and MerRie christmas.

WhEW!

First things first, there wasn't much updating for the past 2 wks cos i was on exercise (not the literal one, but militarily-wise). It was mentally tiring more than physical exhaustion, but objectively speaking, it was still a great experience, trying to learn things along the way, sort of like self-benefiting. It was realli taxing on my financial budget too, considering all the transport fees i have to spend, but oh well its over. Okie, shan't go too much in depth, jux in case i am infringing upon sensitive security issues.

Christmas is so much around the corner, festivity is not as strong as the past few years, mabbe its becos i havent realli got in touch with the feel of christmas that is ballooning outside. Yeah i shld get out there, and get my christmas shopping on the ball rolling, although i am still brainstorming abt the pressies i shld get. Hmmmz...

Oh ya, OLD NEWS! i watched Harry Potter le, wanna give some reviews on it since its my fav show. I had much anticipation for the show after reading the book in detail, expected all the gargantuan effects, bombastic plots and mystical magical stuff, but it didnt meet my expectations in the end. Much of the show were modified and cut short, but its forgivable, taking into account the budget and the show time. I wanted more magic and fantastic stunts, but there was basically the bare minimum, oh well, thumbs up for beauxbatons and drumstrang added much spice into the show which i like, and boos to dumbledore for being such an irritable git, realli miss the old dumbledore, so temperless and kind, encouraging and supportive, calm and composed. Hermoine is going too much into showing emotions which is BAD, her beauty sort of nullify that over-emoitonal effects. Yupz.

OkiE! Before Boo comes back, i would like to extend a warm welcome to him! WELCOME BACK! bet three gruelling weeks in the outback muz have struck some yonkers into u. Wadeva, good to have ya back.

The past few days were realli taxing, i seriously cant believe how much stuff i moved up into an elevated transport of at least 2m tall, objects which may amount to hundreds of kilogrammes... and things like white boards that hafta be tilted at this precise angle and yada yada. Basically its jux tough manual work, not to mention after moving stuffs, we hafta set up stuffs too... not jux easie normal set ups, much more complicated ones. I almost succumbed to the exhaustion overwhelming me, showing signs of emotional stress and nervours crumble, signalling the unwillingness and the reluctance to expend anymore energy to do work. When i got home, i was absolutely drained, dried up of all expendable energy. Even longer hours of sleep cant replenish my over-loaded body. Else, positivity kept me going and gave me the strength to get this entry in.. haha

QuOte: Design you life, create your style, patent you, advertise youself, and make yourself an
award-winning life experience!

*Quick Flash!* Last week was hectic as usual. Work! wat else can it be other than hectic and being busy, its the norm. A Horrenduously important exercise (not literally), is creeping round the corner and preparations are up on my heels. Once this is over, it would prob be a better term ahead.

I am soooooo TempTED!!!! I seriously wanna watch my Harry Potter - Goblet of Fire, but for the sake of *erm-hem* hafta endure and wrench in agony as i try to shun away from pple whom had watched the movie... ARGH!... wadeva... anyway watched the Harry Potter - Chamber of Secrets on TV and erm kinda relieve a bit of agony in me... I am so touched at the end when EVERYONE except the malfoy gang clapped for hagrid and applaued those un-petrified in celebration of everything good that triumphs over evil!

The Holidays are approaching, finances are on tight budget to tide thru this holiday season. I absolutely lurveeee the holidays. Such a festivity, such fun!

Friday... Hmmmz well it was a bunjeeeeeeee jumping experience for me. I totally experienced o a varied spectrum of emotions, from total depression, disconsolate, despondent, woebegone blah blah in the morning to somewhat a little more cheerful, a little more tinge of joy in the afternoon, to in the end normality. Haha, i feel so inpredictable. Wadeva the case, i have finally tide thru the phase and kinda like zhen zhuo qi lai le. In retrospect, i feel justified for all that i felt cos i think its fully alrite for me to get pissed and slowyl evolving into such spectra of emotions. During that period, i kinda like told myself to dispel this negativity and embrace wad happiness can bring, but somehow it was so intense that i was paralysed by it.

My tots ran wild and i cam up with this.

Yourself...

In this world of more than half a dozen of billions of people, its so congested that physically u r never alone. Loneliness occur when people feel spiritually, emotionally and mentally empty, but come to think of it, u can never be alone even in those intangible cases. There is always yourself accompaning you. Have you ever wonder y is there you and yourself? Its obvious that you and yourself are the embodiment of the final you, closely knitted and intertwined. When you are fellin sad, "yourself" will be feelin the exact same thing as u, likewise, when "yourself" is feelin down, you feel the same too. In fact, by feelin sad and down, you are torturing you and yourself, which ultimately inflicts double the agony upon ur final embodiment. Wads the point anyway? On the contrary, happiness and also be doubled when you experience joy, elation and everything plesant. Isnt that better than agony? I was thinkin so in depth abt this matter that i kinda communicated with myself (in you its "yourself"), and came to a compromise of trying to feel less agony and attempt to be happy. So this is a formula for you and yourself. ")

Enuf of philosophies, went to catch jux like heaven with yk and chan, it was the usual romance comedy, which i personally think its cliche, but never boring. Its always the same thing plot, but never, never repetitive. At least i can feel some uniqueness abt the film and i am quite please with it. But can there ever be a movie without evil villians or baddies? or izzit essential for this perpectuating duality to be present in these movies so as to make movies work out? One way or another, i guess that is right. Oh well, i might jux as well think of a story plot w/o that ba...

After the movies, went to this esprit outlet at NP and the merchandise there were going at very reasonable prices... bought a shirt, while chan laments over the fact that he is too skinny for any clothes there to fit him (LOL). Returned home with yk and chen to my house for dinner and watched sky high, courtesy of yk and ck. Again, the usual superhero show which i think its a bit corny.

Yupz... shall end here with a quote by the erm.. Me and myself.

"The joy of one, defines the happiness of both.
The sun shines on one, dictates the growth of both."

Its always hard to start off a blog entry aint it?... haha oh well, anyway last week was basically hols and rests and nuthing else much but lots of free time... weekends were more happening... Went to chan's recommendation - the eski-bar, and it was fabulous... the whole concept of "sub-zero"ness and the realli creative concoction they serve there kinda make them a one of a kind pub. I like the names of the drinks they serve, things like "sleeping polar bear" brings out that artic feel and yupz kinda brings u to a different dimension and vacuums out most of the fan naos u had. There is this sub-zero zone there which apparently is of temperatures below 0 degrees and its realli frosting and freezing haha but i like tt feelin and atmosphere.

Went out on sat for some quaterly shoppin and went to orchard to support friends at the subaru( i think its spelt this way) challenge and gosh i didnt realli expect so many pple to be there participating and supporting, but it was an excellent eye-opener... had dinner at this kublai khan buffet restaurant... wasnt that fantastic but it was normally good ba... yeah...

I muz say that the whole of last week was prob the most enriching week i ever had. Apparently many of life's true agenda came upon me as i uncover the mystics of of my presence or should i say everyone's presence in this green globe.

Life aint no easie-peasie thingy that u can play with. There are motives and goals to set our sights to, and everything happens for a reason and everyone appears for a reason. To attain our goals, some people stoop down to the most dispicable methods, hurting and causing emotional stress to others, while some other people earn their way to the top thru sheer determination and extraordinary strength, which is adored by others. I was enlightened on the fact that there are the selfish, self-interest maniac around that are those stooping to down-right dirty methods, who wouldn't even flinch at the cost of sacrificing other people's erm... EVERYTHING. Back-stabbing, bad-mouthing, things that make u feel terrible will befall on u if u r not careful of whom u mix with. Its the same old cliche "the society is a very complicated network of traps" thingy that is constantly drilled into me, of which i kinda ignore without much attention. However, till recently have i only got to realise the very essence of this cliche and kinda paid more attention to it.
When things don't go smoothly or as plan, or when events happen that pisses u off, endure... for the rainbow after the rain. Keep the positive thinking up and dispel all negativity. For only this will you be able to keep yourself happie and contented, satisfied and enlightened.

All right, on a lighter note, i have been training and training had paid off with results that i am quite contented with. I am esp. happie to see improvements thru my own hardwork. YEAh!
Oh ya... watched wedding planner and i am totally blown away by all the intricate colours complemented beautifully by distinctive contours, all the natural settings that are so beautiful and serene. I love those silverware used for dining and the different themes and costumes and music. It is so perfect, such an ideal professionalism that i aspire to possess. That is a far-away dream that never seem to be able to realise... unless I believe...

It has been a week, walking down memory lane, reminising the past while feeling loads of emotions. Saw my old table filled with notes and assignments and my stationaries laying forlornly all over the place. I so wanna go back to school again. I wouldn't complain of the load of HW there is and no more grumbling of how much i have to do le!!! Pls jux lemme go back to sch and study once again.

Read thru lots of blogs today, while waiting for my student to complete his test. It kinda saddens me and realli made me feel this intrinsic inevitability that the past had passed. It is so real, yet i don't wan it to happen. I love my sch days, and i have this extreme urge to go back to such days where the whole sch does something together. Saw NJC the open house on the bus and the net, and it makes me realli wanna go back and help no matter how tiring it would be. It is so like when i helped paint banners, do performance, and set up places, i do it without any grudges and i kinda enjoy it. Fun and laughter never ceases and satisfaction with extreme gratification follows. I am proud of my sch and ever will and i miss the times in sch studying and rushing abt. HAHA...

Its like now that we dont meet every now and den, which makes me misses u all sooooo much. It ain't like back in sch where we can jux meet up and chit chat, laugh and interact with each other... i love it!

It has been quite some time and i should clean this place up of its stagnancy, jux in case mosquitoes start breeding here. Aha, besides the the lamie-startie, its time to break some ice.

One great WOO-HA i would like to brag is that i actually got to come into contact with RONG-SHAO aka desmond koh aka xu zhen rong, ain't it cool? i kinda like helped him tackle some stuff for him, and i got his email and hp number... aWeSOme! and he made an impression on me of being a super convivial celebrity. There had been a few busy weeks and lots of things to do, but they have passed and now its more of a lot more work to be done. Its starting to be like the real world, where professionals and graduate work for survivial, but it is not that competitive, or shld i say not even the least competitive, but the same concept of survivial applies here nonetheless.

Being Linguistically fluent and having the ability to utilise it well doesn't necessarily mean that i have to do everything. Its the wrong perception of indolent people, who wishes to languorously sit ard all day and "TUANG" (a common army lingo which means slacking). Watever it is, i am glad that i am able to resist the negativities and phase out the critics. I realised i actually have grown in many ways ever since the day i got enlisted. I have learnt to realli give and take, take things that come in your stride, and when things dont happen to you, you cant force it to happen, u jux have to accept and acknowledge, only then will it come great wisdom.Also, when u don't get what other pple possess, dont dwell upon the fact that u dont have, think abt things that u have that others don't. It may be twindling towards self-centeredness, but it is a good counteractive forces towards the metamorphical GREEN. I am an emotional person, feelin tons of fluctuations every now and den... but i have learn to gain more control over it, and this enables me to be more calm and work with sophistication, it also pumps me up with power and strength to meet challenges and guide me as an intuition.

Many things are happening and accepting them is jux difficult, realising i am 19 this yr and 20 next yr isn't an optimistic out view, considering i am approaching an age that is starting with the digit 2. ArgH... time do flY!!!

A great week i muz say... at least i am feeling lethargic and for once i could feel my muscles exercised! haha... went to some warehouse sale and yupz... as expectedly expected... all within the sgporean concept of KIASU... lol

Hmmm... got lotsa things to debate about... but i dunno where to start from...

classics are still classy...

Awesome!.. i am so proud of myself.. YeAh.. i have so looked out of the box and convinced myself to love myself more... do justice to the great ME!... haha

seriously... i kinda like take things on a lighter note... although its on constant reminder... but at least results are showing... positivity is seeping in and bitterness is OUT!

Hmm... kinda into wine tasting and appreciation... sophistication huh... yeah its HIGH-CLASS alrite... gonna go into fine dining and etiquetti... that is so cool..

everything is going on real fine... its cool... taking things realli in my stride... like cool... not getting so edgy and affected... like yeah... taking things as it is... and looking at things from a totally different prospective... things jux seem brighter ye know... haha

sometimes life ain't only me, me and me... its also with him, her, them... everybody around u... its only reasonable to associate and integrate everybody into your own matrix and conjure a set of ruling to set a pace and standard... that is basically LIFE! yeah and i do mean BASICALLY.. haha

Hmm... yest was a wonderful day... went down to the OP warehouse sale which was APPALLING, it was exactly like a pasa malam (night market), it was as if everyone was in consternation, trenching thru the piles of apparels that obviously had gone thru a "battle".

okie... abit late though but yeah... happie burthdae to singapore... its like having this huge celebration with pple that we dont realli know kinda nice though... but i like the songs the extravagance and the "holiday" mood. This could have been a lot better if there is some break-through from the mundane routine of "act 1, act 2 and act 3" could have been more spontaneous or even con-current for a change as a matter of fact. But it is like once in 5 yrs, that it is held in padang and i kinda like the idea of having the celebration brought around singapore into the heartland.

Subsequently, things turned towards a positive side of life... Its like so sudden that my accentuating depressing tots regresses into more positive and enlightening prespects. Given my current situation, i am trying to move towards a vivacious character, giving life a better and brighter meaning.

Guess that emotions are good training devices to build up character and personality. *It is only thru the storm that a navigator can truely find his directions.*

For now, i am taking things easy, helping people whenever i could, lending a helping hand, propagating a more extensive network of people. Hopefully, that will put me in good stead when i enter into the society.

Oh yeah... not to mention the constant build up of sophistication and knowledge thru self-learning, which i recently implemented upon myself to realli make good use of time when i have spare.

And seriously, i realli need my monthly dosage of retail therapy and more reality TV shows... GOSH... cant wait for the next epi of The America's Next Top Model... prob even The Apprentice... hehe... guess i am realli transforming into a TV junkie and i gotta finish my harry potter... anticipation as the story unfolds...

Apparently, i seemed detached from civil society and prob even from humanity. I wonder if i still can relate to people... do the people-to-people thingy. Its still fresh in my memory that i like to help pple all ard me... like helping friends opening up, shring their thots and worries, helping people realise potentials that slumbers within them (think on the surface, cos i am not ghandi nor thereasa). Gosh... i am totally sensitive to even the smallest things... and i realli have this 错败感 that is clinging on to me like some parasite. I have no reason to blame IT but it is still partly due to my wadeva is it that is causing it that caused it... yeah wadeva