It has been a week, walking down memory lane, reminising the past while feeling loads of emotions. Saw my old table filled with notes and assignments and my stationaries laying forlornly all over the place. I so wanna go back to school again. I wouldn't complain of the load of HW there is and no more grumbling of how much i have to do le!!! Pls jux lemme go back to sch and study once again.

Read thru lots of blogs today, while waiting for my student to complete his test. It kinda saddens me and realli made me feel this intrinsic inevitability that the past had passed. It is so real, yet i don't wan it to happen. I love my sch days, and i have this extreme urge to go back to such days where the whole sch does something together. Saw NJC the open house on the bus and the net, and it makes me realli wanna go back and help no matter how tiring it would be. It is so like when i helped paint banners, do performance, and set up places, i do it without any grudges and i kinda enjoy it. Fun and laughter never ceases and satisfaction with extreme gratification follows. I am proud of my sch and ever will and i miss the times in sch studying and rushing abt. HAHA...

Its like now that we dont meet every now and den, which makes me misses u all sooooo much. It ain't like back in sch where we can jux meet up and chit chat, laugh and interact with each other... i love it!

It has been quite some time and i should clean this place up of its stagnancy, jux in case mosquitoes start breeding here. Aha, besides the the lamie-startie, its time to break some ice.

One great WOO-HA i would like to brag is that i actually got to come into contact with RONG-SHAO aka desmond koh aka xu zhen rong, ain't it cool? i kinda like helped him tackle some stuff for him, and i got his email and hp number... aWeSOme! and he made an impression on me of being a super convivial celebrity. There had been a few busy weeks and lots of things to do, but they have passed and now its more of a lot more work to be done. Its starting to be like the real world, where professionals and graduate work for survivial, but it is not that competitive, or shld i say not even the least competitive, but the same concept of survivial applies here nonetheless.

Being Linguistically fluent and having the ability to utilise it well doesn't necessarily mean that i have to do everything. Its the wrong perception of indolent people, who wishes to languorously sit ard all day and "TUANG" (a common army lingo which means slacking). Watever it is, i am glad that i am able to resist the negativities and phase out the critics. I realised i actually have grown in many ways ever since the day i got enlisted. I have learnt to realli give and take, take things that come in your stride, and when things dont happen to you, you cant force it to happen, u jux have to accept and acknowledge, only then will it come great wisdom.Also, when u don't get what other pple possess, dont dwell upon the fact that u dont have, think abt things that u have that others don't. It may be twindling towards self-centeredness, but it is a good counteractive forces towards the metamorphical GREEN. I am an emotional person, feelin tons of fluctuations every now and den... but i have learn to gain more control over it, and this enables me to be more calm and work with sophistication, it also pumps me up with power and strength to meet challenges and guide me as an intuition.

Many things are happening and accepting them is jux difficult, realising i am 19 this yr and 20 next yr isn't an optimistic out view, considering i am approaching an age that is starting with the digit 2. ArgH... time do flY!!!

A great week i muz say... at least i am feeling lethargic and for once i could feel my muscles exercised! haha... went to some warehouse sale and yupz... as expectedly expected... all within the sgporean concept of KIASU... lol

Hmmm... got lotsa things to debate about... but i dunno where to start from...

classics are still classy...

Awesome!.. i am so proud of myself.. YeAh.. i have so looked out of the box and convinced myself to love myself more... do justice to the great ME!... haha

seriously... i kinda like take things on a lighter note... although its on constant reminder... but at least results are showing... positivity is seeping in and bitterness is OUT!

Hmm... kinda into wine tasting and appreciation... sophistication huh... yeah its HIGH-CLASS alrite... gonna go into fine dining and etiquetti... that is so cool..

everything is going on real fine... its cool... taking things realli in my stride... like cool... not getting so edgy and affected... like yeah... taking things as it is... and looking at things from a totally different prospective... things jux seem brighter ye know... haha

sometimes life ain't only me, me and me... its also with him, her, them... everybody around u... its only reasonable to associate and integrate everybody into your own matrix and conjure a set of ruling to set a pace and standard... that is basically LIFE! yeah and i do mean BASICALLY.. haha

Hmm... yest was a wonderful day... went down to the OP warehouse sale which was APPALLING, it was exactly like a pasa malam (night market), it was as if everyone was in consternation, trenching thru the piles of apparels that obviously had gone thru a "battle".

okie... abit late though but yeah... happie burthdae to singapore... its like having this huge celebration with pple that we dont realli know kinda nice though... but i like the songs the extravagance and the "holiday" mood. This could have been a lot better if there is some break-through from the mundane routine of "act 1, act 2 and act 3" could have been more spontaneous or even con-current for a change as a matter of fact. But it is like once in 5 yrs, that it is held in padang and i kinda like the idea of having the celebration brought around singapore into the heartland.

Subsequently, things turned towards a positive side of life... Its like so sudden that my accentuating depressing tots regresses into more positive and enlightening prespects. Given my current situation, i am trying to move towards a vivacious character, giving life a better and brighter meaning.

Guess that emotions are good training devices to build up character and personality. *It is only thru the storm that a navigator can truely find his directions.*

For now, i am taking things easy, helping people whenever i could, lending a helping hand, propagating a more extensive network of people. Hopefully, that will put me in good stead when i enter into the society.

Oh yeah... not to mention the constant build up of sophistication and knowledge thru self-learning, which i recently implemented upon myself to realli make good use of time when i have spare.

And seriously, i realli need my monthly dosage of retail therapy and more reality TV shows... GOSH... cant wait for the next epi of The America's Next Top Model... prob even The Apprentice... hehe... guess i am realli transforming into a TV junkie and i gotta finish my harry potter... anticipation as the story unfolds...

Apparently, i seemed detached from civil society and prob even from humanity. I wonder if i still can relate to people... do the people-to-people thingy. Its still fresh in my memory that i like to help pple all ard me... like helping friends opening up, shring their thots and worries, helping people realise potentials that slumbers within them (think on the surface, cos i am not ghandi nor thereasa). Gosh... i am totally sensitive to even the smallest things... and i realli have this 错败感 that is clinging on to me like some parasite. I have no reason to blame IT but it is still partly due to my wadeva is it that is causing it that caused it... yeah wadeva

Everyday, as i traipsed towards the metallic facade of an intimidating enclosure, i am always overwhelmed by a mixture of emotions. It is always battling within me to determine who is the ultimate victor - the urge to complete my responsibilities and return to my abode, or to really spend quality time within my responsibilities to learn and enjoy the company of friends. As i passed the security check point, flashing my identity card to certify my presence, it would usually lead me on down the meandering path towards my shabby work ground. It is usually a twist of fate and the works of the grandfather clock to determine whether i walk or enjoy the journey in the comfort of the bus.
Upon arrival, its always the cliched regimental regimes and rules to adhere to, which completes a routinal morning schedule bridging towards the start of work. Usually, after a simple ceremonial presence-indicating session, it would be heads back to the office for all of us, where a multitude of work awaits. Everyday, there is a ever-changing course of tasks for everyone to perform, giving their level best to satisfy the minimum criteria to at least secure themselves a safe environment. As for me, its always vacilating between being the good old me, or the baddy me (not criminally, or evil, or sinisterly bad. Just the rather unapproachable me), as work doesn't realli pressurizes me a lot, but rather the inter-personnel agenda that is.

the chronicle continues...

Had some insights on some matters of sophistication and social status... and i would like to highlite a point of enunciation of the word 'A' and not otherwise...

Gosh... i jux came to realise that i am plan stupid... i am totally being hurt incessantly, bleeding profusely and cowering melancholy alone... and who is the perpetrator?... that would be the idiosyncratic... Me! of cos it takes two hands to clap... so yea there is another party... haiz... but i have awoken (i think)... hoping fervently for time to heal my wounds... is there medication to lighten my pain? is there a doctor to treat my condition? is there anyone out there?

Hmm.. nuthing much realli... jux mundane normal life, which is in serious need of spices!! lol... sound as if i dont have a life... but i have a partial one, which is in the process of obliteration... gotta find a source of power strong enuf to pull thru this..

was pondering upon many issues which dawned on me when i was rather free... yeah free... which equals to lots of time to day dream... The balance of this world is actually maintained by this perpectuating duality that exist independently as a counteracting phenomenum.. there is always peopl being happy :) and others being sad :( ... there is the matter of life and death... there is the endless battle betweem good and evil... so many to name... have u ever wondered that when u r actualli enjoying and sharing happiness with someone else... there is another party that i feelin left out and feelin sad?.. when there is a baby born somewhere... there is also a deceased somewhere else... that is the hurtful truth but an inevitable one... wow sounds philosophical but yeah.. its jux me plain rattling away... expressing my view... but it makes sense though... hehe haha... okie dokie... miss u all out there and hope to see ya soonz...

Yeap!!... its a half day today for most of my fellow office-mateys and friends (cos i refuse to regard them as collegues)... while i have to attend my medical appt @ TTSH... so i made my way there at around 12+ stopping by bishan to do some shopping and finally arriving at almost 2... wonderful and i tot the clinic would serve on a first come first serve basis and i cld get everything over and done with ignoring the fact that my appt is at 350pm... however... time seems to literally CRAWL... or even wriggle like some worm without any legs at ALL... i totally waited for like easily 2hrs b4 its my turn to see the doc... like damn it... i have exhausted all ways and means to keep myself occupied and optimistic that i can return to my abode early... but the call for my turn finally at around 4, dashed all hopes. Wats worse was that i was jux plainly flustered that i kept fumbling upon stuffs. The whole situation reached its pinnacle of embarassement when i walked into the room with one resident doc and 2 interns... firstly i was like carrying so much stuff on my hand that i kinda like dragged everything into the room and sprawl them all over the floor... when i wanted to like stack them neatly into one corner... the doc demanded me to sit over to the other side leaving all my stuff laying forlornly on the floor... wats worse is the my whole bag went under the doc's desk and i kinda like groped his legs while i felt for my bag *god! that is juz so embarassing*.. and that 2 interns seem to be enjoying themselves... watching my fumble... YICKS!

It was more or less the same case when i was in the MRT too... cos i mistaken the approaching train to be my train and i kinda rushed down looking terribly misplaced and disposed of all image only to find out that i made a mistake... lucky for me its finally the journey home where i can juz simply throw everything in one corner... yupz *which i literally did*

Baked 2 cheesecakes.. one for friends and the other for family... cooking is still a good way to de-stress even though its hardwork... hehe... did some reading and missed CSI *yucks* but it was for a good cause... as i was watching CHARMED... hehe

anyway recently there has been a great hoo-ha abt the talent search show on TV, leeching off viewers' attention in order to crown the next promising super star... and pple have been commenting greatly on this event and i shld do mine...
Firstly : IT SUX TOTALLY... its juz another gimmick to be one-time famous
Secondly: IT STILL SUCK... the participants there are jux visual prostitutes for viewers to rape
them optically... leaving mangled flesh and tattered image... GRUESOME!!!

Its jux another day... thats all i can lament about... nuthin special or especially exciting.. the only thing i can presumably conclude is that "arrows" around the office are getting much more aggressive...

trying to improve myself with new knowledge and information... think i am realli on into it... prob getting to enroll myself in some class or another...

okie... firstly i muz apologize to the excos... so sorrie.. i had something on that i so last minute... yupz sorrie.. absolutely apologetic!

Watched War of the Worlds already and it was totally awesome... like absolutely great... but it was a bit disappointing at the end... everything was so perfect... the plot, the develoment... it kept me on the edge of my seat (literally)... i grabbed on to everything.. i mean its so in suspense that i was kinda like on tenderhooks... haha but it was a great movie... and spielberg is jux damn awesome... he reflected the selfish aspect of man-kind... the i-would-kill-u-to-save-my-skin kinda philsophy in mankind... the basic need/instinct to survive will supercede all social concerns and the so-called norms which evidently are the dwindling ethics that is left... there was plot and visual effects... so its 4 popcorns out of 5... the deduction was due to the abrupt ending to which how the aliens died and how reunion happened... it was lame so to speak, cos its like thruout the show the aliens were to perfect to be defeated... but in the end they were defeated by the very essence that made us.. its like too sudden... but still it is excellent!!

went to another movie today which was Initial D, i was quite skeptical abt that show at first cos i tot it would be some himbo show flauting all the hot idols that participated in the show... it turned out otherwise... its unlike amercan movies... its style is very asian... but at least it is captivating.. all the cool maneuvers and speed lashing bends... all the action, the danger... it was awesome... definitely nice... however there seem to be some parts that are irrelevant... like some narcissistic freak trying to be farny but turned the effects to be otherwise... and the girl who is supposedly to be jay's gf turned out to be some explicit social escort... its like *diaoz* lamo!!! but at least it is not cliched.. that's a saving grace!

Oh ya... went back to cat high for homecoming... it is totally GREAT!!!.. i mean all the memories and everything rushed back and it was absolutely overwhelmed... somethings changed and definitely a lot of improvements... i loved the sch and will still love it... its my ala mater... and all the students and teachers that i know... my god.. i realli loved that feeling and enjoyed myself there... OVERWHELMED!... like WOW!!! i am so gonna wan to teach there... haha relief teaching... yupz!

Gee... its like a wild morning today with everything running amuck, my hair, my clothes, chicken meat and even emotions... guess i can't handle so much things at a time... or prob i need a distraction from all these diversifications of problems and YUCKS! i hate that...

got ready for some parade for some day... i was quite reluctant to attend but apparently i ahve no choice unless i am on duty which i am not! The parade was quite short with a menagerie of berets displayed under the warm sunlight. It was alrite and we kinda left quite early after that... now i am back in my comfy office with the air-con blasting right at my face... *whew*...

Fingers crossed now... jux hope that i can get a half day off today from my superiors!!!

had a dinner treat from my superior today at sakae... it was more of like a farewell dinner for shaun and moses... and btw... good luck to both of you and take care... will be missin u lots!

went GIANT to grab some BBQ stuff.. den went home...

Hmmm... had realli tot abt a lot of things and juz got saddened by events that happened and passed by along the way... i mean i know that i am easily affected but... i have realli tried for the past week to suppress everything under a peaceful act... i dont feel good...esp after losing another two more gd friend from my office... its juz like sch where we have to part... but leaving is always so hard... now it seems like i am all alone.. its hard...

It was a good time for all of us i think, to sit down and laugh about silly stuff and recount all the outrageous things that happened back in school. i feel sad that that is now a closed chapter of my life, and that this period of time shared with this group of people has been subconsciously relegated to being fragments of the past as i go about mapping out my future. looking ahead, it is sad to think that the path ahead may or may not cross these people's as much as i would like, but i guess i can take comfort in precious memories of the past